redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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