Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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