You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
