i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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