oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
