the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
