Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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