I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
