I'm going to jail i love you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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