But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
