Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
