just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
