SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
