woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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