is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
