meet me or not, i'm out of control
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
