i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
