I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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