he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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