I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
