We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
