So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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