playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
