The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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