is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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