i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I need to stop coming to work sober
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
