My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
