My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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