the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
