I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
