That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
