Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
