Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
