i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
