Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
