And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
