i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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