And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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