youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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