I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
