With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
