I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
