I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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