I smell stomach acid.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
