as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
