did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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