he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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