Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
