I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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