Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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