I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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