Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
