so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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