he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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