She's JV to your varsity
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
