Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
