I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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