So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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