ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
