hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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