found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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