the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How does one acquire holy water?
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