im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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